How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Is Therapy For Me?
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Interpreting Dreams
In the last of my series on dreaming we look at common images and symbols in dream interpretation. I love working with the unconscious and find dreams fascinating. We can think of them as metaphors for what might be going on in the dreamer’s life and/or the...
Nightmares and Night terrors
It seems difficult for people to talk about their nightmares. Even if the person has told me during their assessment that they suffer from nightmares, I often find people don’t talk about them in any detail until we have been working together for a while. Maybe by...
Types of dreams
Types of Dreams Every dream is as unique as the dreamer, but there are specific types of dreamsthat most commonly find their way into my consulting room. These are daydreams, vivid dreams, recurring dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares and night terrors. This month, I...
Dream Journaling
How To Remember Your Dreams I often work with people who dream frequently and are interested in their dreams. Many suffer from nightmares and night terrors which they remember vividly. I will be exploring these in a later post. But a lot of people don’t remember...
Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year can be difficult times for many people. We spend the holiday with family in a more intense way than normal and this can reveal strains, tensions and ruptures that we normally overlook or don’t like to admit in our daily lives.
Alternatively, we may have had a lonely time over the break and wished we had a partner or were in a more healthy relationship or realised our relationship is too toxic to continue.
The holiday may have given us time to reassess our current lifestyle and think that we will benefit from some changes. If we have that sinking feeling on a Sunday, then maybe it’s time to look for a new job or career? If we are feeling isolated working from home then maybe it’s time to get out networking or take up a new hobby, fitness or adult education class? Perhaps, if we are exhausted and realise we aren’t able to spend enough time with people we love then maybe it’s time to think about our work/life balance?
Sometimes it’s difficult to admit to ourselves that any of these things are affecting us. But it’s often even more difficult to talk about it with someone else.
how can therapy help me?
Counselling or psychotherapy is a perfect place to talk about your worries and concerns. It gives you space to say exactly what is bothering you, with someone who is objective and open-minded. A good therapist will give you time and space to untangle what is upsetting you. Often just getting the issue out of our head and into words is such a relief.
If you think that going to a qualified professional person will help you or someone close to you talk about what’s unsettling or upsetting you then I suggest you start to think about having some counselling or psychotherapy.
So How do you choose a therapist
who and what is the therapy for?
As therapy becomes more popular, an increasing number of people are going to their GPs for help and finding themselves on a very long waiting list. As a result, more people are choosing to find a private therapist. But with so many available it can be confusing deciding who to choose.
It’s worth spending time thinking about who and what the therapy will be for because you will need to find an appropriate counsellor for whoever needs it.
Is it just for you? We call that individual therapy. Or is it for you and your partner together? In which case you will want couples counselling. It may be for a child, young person or for the whole family.
You may also want counselling or psychotherapy for a specific problem. Maybe you are recently bereaved, in which case you may need bereavement counselling. You may want help with an addiction, or you may need support for your relationship. There are specialist organisations and therapists who work in these areas, and they may be a good place to start.
Here are some links to websites of organisations that may be useful:
We Are With You (formerly Addaction)
there are so many therapists who should I choose?
There are many different types of models of therapy including: psychodynamic and psychoanalytical, cognitive behavioural therapy, humanistic, person-centred and integrative. It’s difficult to know which to choose. The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) gives a good summary of each type of therapy available.
Research has shown that no matter what model of therapy we choose, it’s the relationship between the client and the therapist that is the most important aspect of the therapy and the one which makes the most difference in progress over time. If we aren’t comfortable sitting in the room with the therapist, to begin with then it will be hard to trust and open up to them.
How Do I Choose A Therapist?
It’s important to get a feel for the therapist before you start working with them. Take note of how you feel when you research the therapist, talk with them, and meet them.
Is the therapist clear about what they offer and how they work?
When you meet them, do you feel you could trust them and talk to them confidentially? Most importantly do you feel listened to? Does it feel like they get you and understand your problem? Can you imagine yourself working with them?
Is the therapist clear about what they offer, what their fees are and how they work?
Unfortunately, currently, there isn’t one nationally recognised qualification pathway for therapists so it’s important to check that they are fully trained and qualified. Check that they are accredited with one of the main respected national umbrella bodies like BPC, BACP or UKCP.
what to do next
Make contact with them. Either email them or pick up the phone.
Book an initial session where you can meet. You can tell them a little about what is going on for you and why you are looking for therapy now and they can tell you how they work.
Don’t worry that you may be nervous. Starting counselling or psychotherapy is a big step. It’s totally normal to feel anxious when you first make contact and when you go to your first session. Just reach out to them and they will help you find your way to them.
Another relevant blog to read:
Your first therapy session – what to expect
Read my previous blog: 2022 ANOTHER NEW YEAR ANOTHER NEW NORMAL