How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
2022 Another New Year Another New Normal
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Interpreting Dreams
In the last of my series on dreaming we look at common images and symbols in dream interpretation. I love working with the unconscious and find dreams fascinating. We can think of them as metaphors for what might be going on in the dreamer’s life and/or the...
Nightmares and Night terrors
It seems difficult for people to talk about their nightmares. Even if the person has told me during their assessment that they suffer from nightmares, I often find people don’t talk about them in any detail until we have been working together for a while. Maybe by...
Types of dreams
Types of Dreams Every dream is as unique as the dreamer, but there are specific types of dreamsthat most commonly find their way into my consulting room. These are daydreams, vivid dreams, recurring dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares and night terrors. This month, I...
Dream Journaling
How To Remember Your Dreams I often work with people who dream frequently and are interested in their dreams. Many suffer from nightmares and night terrors which they remember vividly. I will be exploring these in a later post. But a lot of people don’t remember...
2022 looks set to be another unique year. Here in the UK, covidwise, we start the year arguably in a better place than 2021. As Omicron continues, it’s becoming the new normal to take a lateral flow test before meeting family and friends.
But many of us are still anxious about covid, finding and keeping work and the increasing cost of living.
But this year children have gone back to school and hospitality continues to remain open. These are sentences I never thought I would have to think, say or write.
We now expect the unexpected. What will the next announcement say? How long do we need to self-isolate for now? Should we risk booking holidays abroad?
Keeping a safe distance when talking to people has become automatic. We either don’t embrace the friends and family we used to, or tentatively check with them first. The lack of physical connection and reduction in social contact has led to isolation in older people especially, and an increase in online interaction compared to face-to-face for younger people.
It’s hard to tell exactly what the consequences of these changing behaviours are in the long term but early indications show them to be detrimental, the mental health of young people being particularly affected.
So, we start 2022 with inevitable mixed feelings. Hope that we are out of the worst of the pandemic and hope that we will be able to settle into a structure, routine, and familiarity. This helps us feel safe and secure.
I’m reminded of Maslow’s pyramid of Hierarchy of Needs where the base need is physiological (food, clothing, shelter), moving up to safety (job security and health), then social needs (love and relationships), then esteem (belief in self) and finally self-actualization (living an authentic life).
At the beginning of the pandemic, we witnessed genuine fear that our basic needs might not be met: remember the empty shelves as people hoarded supplies leaving nothing for others? Such is the primal need for survival. Then came job losses and people unable to pay rent or mortgage.
Reflections
As we continue to emerge from the fog of the recent past, we can start or continue to reflect on this hierarchy of needs:
Maybe this is the time for some reflection…
Maybe this year is the year for asking larger questions…
What’s important to me now?
Am I in the right relationship?
Do I need to change where I live?
Or how I earn a living?
Is it time to rethink some of our friendships and relationships? Make more effort in others?
How is our health?
Do we need to spend more time looking after ourselves?
Self-actualization is at the peak of Maslow’s pyramid. Maslow (1943) describes this level as ‘the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be’. This may feel like a long way off. But maybe we can just think of a few small things we can concentrate on this year to help us live more at ease with 2022.