How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Your First Therapy Session
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Interpreting Dreams
In the last of my series on dreaming we look at common images and symbols in dream interpretation. I love working with the unconscious and find dreams fascinating. We can think of them as metaphors for what might be going on in the dreamer’s life and/or the...
Nightmares and Night terrors
It seems difficult for people to talk about their nightmares. Even if the person has told me during their assessment that they suffer from nightmares, I often find people don’t talk about them in any detail until we have been working together for a while. Maybe by...
Types of dreams
Types of Dreams Every dream is as unique as the dreamer, but there are specific types of dreamsthat most commonly find their way into my consulting room. These are daydreams, vivid dreams, recurring dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares and night terrors. This month, I...
Dream Journaling
How To Remember Your Dreams I often work with people who dream frequently and are interested in their dreams. Many suffer from nightmares and night terrors which they remember vividly. I will be exploring these in a later post. But a lot of people don’t remember...
This is the time of year when it’s common for people to think about starting therapy. You may have decided that you want to approach a therapist and may have contacted someone and made a date for an initial consultation.
But then the reality of having the first session with a complete stranger starts to kick in.
Questions About Your First Therapy Session
Here are some useful questions to get answers for…
Where is the therapist based?
Will there be parking?
Is there a waiting room?
What time should I get there?
How can I pay for the session?
Practicalities of Your First Therapy Session
Practicalities About Your First Therapy Session
It’s a good idea to get the practicalities sorted before the day of the appointment so feel free to ask the therapist any questions to help you arrive prepared and on time. Once you arrive, I suggest you turn off your phone so that you can’t be tempted to look at it or think about it during the session.
What Will The First Therapy Session Be Like?
People often arrive understandably anxious and nervous.
It is very rare for most people to engage one on one with someone for 50 minutes without any interruptions or distractions. This is one of the main factors that makes therapy such a unique experience. Everyday conversation usually involves both people chatting and sharing information going backwards and forwards. When we go to our barber or hairdresser, for example, we often chat about other subjects and share stories and news. However, therapy isn’t like that. The focus is totally on you.
It feels different and I believe is a rare and often new experience to focus on oneself for the entirety of these 50 minutes. It can feel awkward at first, having all the attention in the room. The therapist should make it easy for you to speak. They may introduce themself first whilst you settle into the chair and have a look around and acclimatize to being in this new room with this new person.
The therapist may ask you questions and if you are struggling for something to say it’s perfectly fine to tell them this and hopefully, they will help you in your awkwardness.
The information the therapist wants from you is why you are seeking therapy. They need to know what issues you are hoping to explore and why you want to explore them and what you hope to get out of the therapy.
Once the therapist knows this information, they can help you figure out if they are the right person for you to work with.
Is This The Right Therapist For Me?
It’s really important to see how you are feeling in the session. If it’s tricky to think in the session, then give yourself time afterwards to reflect on how it went.
How did you feel in the room?
Could you talk easily to the therapist?
Did you feel listened to?
Did you feel the therapist understood you?
If not today, can you imagine trusting the therapist later on in the work?
Many questions and feelings can bubble up during and after an initial session….
It can feel self-indulgent and bring up feelings of guilt for some people.
How can I justify this time, attention, and money on myself?
My problems aren’t as serious as other people’s, I shouldn’t be here.
Am I wasting mine and the therapist’s time?
If you are aware of these thoughts, it’s best to voice them there and then. But if they come up afterwards feel free to contact the therapist who may invite you in for another one-off session to think about these important feelings before deciding to commit to ongoing work.
IS Therapy For Me?
Starting personal therapy is an investment in yourself in many ways. The process can get difficult, and it can feel worse before it feels better at times but learning more about ourselves and our inner world can lead to awareness and significant shifts in many aspects of our life and relationships.