John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Losing our job or business can be devastating. I am reminded of a poignant part of the film The Full Monty when we see the redundant manager of the steel works, Gerald, getting ready for work each morning. He was pretending to his wife that nothing has changed because he cannot face telling her that he’s lost his job.
Being made redundant can affect us in many different ways: anger, shame, sadness. Let alone worrying about the everyday practicalities of our new found situation and how we’re going to replace our lost income.
The practicalities obviously need sorting as soon as possible such as seeking legal advice, sorting mortgage or rent payments and applying for any benefits we may be entitled to.
However, the emotional side of our new situation also needs attention:
Shock
We may be in shock to begin with. We may have known that we were being made redundant, but part of us has denied it, not wanting to face the truth. But when this happens in reality it becomes unavoidable, we have to accept it whether we like it or not.
Anger
Anger is a very natural reaction to our bad news. We may be angry at our manager, boss, shareholders or the company who is taking us over. It’s important not to take our situation personally. If we are feeling angry then this is a good sign because it tells us that we are at the start of the grieving process. It’s important to get in touch with these angry feelings. Really feel them, whilst obviously not acting them out by becoming abusive or violent. Exercise and being outside are great ways to relieve pent up feelings of anger and frustration. Get advice and support if you feel you have been unfairly treated. Otherwise give yourself time and space to feel the anger and it will move on and turn into a different feeling.
Sadness and Regret
Once our anger begins to subside we may start to feel sadness and have some regrets. We may wish we had time to finish a project we were involved in. We may start to miss our colleagues and some of our daily routines. This is very normal and to be expected. Even the most stressful job will have had some aspects to it that we found fulfilling. It is healthy to acknowledge this sadness and regret and to realise that there were parts of the job that we enjoyed.
Acceptance
Finally, we need to accept that this is the situation we are in now. We need to use our support group to help us through this change and to share our plethora of feelings about what has happened. If anyone we know has gone through a similar experience their support can be especially helpful. Then we need to begin to think about what we want to do next. What will be our next move? How are we going to get started? What help can we enlist to get us going? In fact maybe losing our job can be a powerful opportunity to make positive changes in our lives.
Other relevant blog posts to read: