How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Loneliness
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Interpreting Dreams
In the last of my series on dreaming we look at common images and symbols in dream interpretation. I love working with the unconscious and find dreams fascinating. We can think of them as metaphors for what might be going on in the dreamer’s life and/or the...
Nightmares and Night terrors
It seems difficult for people to talk about their nightmares. Even if the person has told me during their assessment that they suffer from nightmares, I often find people don’t talk about them in any detail until we have been working together for a while. Maybe by...
Types of dreams
Types of Dreams Every dream is as unique as the dreamer, but there are specific types of dreamsthat most commonly find their way into my consulting room. These are daydreams, vivid dreams, recurring dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares and night terrors. This month, I...
Dream Journaling
How To Remember Your Dreams I often work with people who dream frequently and are interested in their dreams. Many suffer from nightmares and night terrors which they remember vividly. I will be exploring these in a later post. But a lot of people don’t remember...
Time alone is necessary for our mental well being. When we spend time by ourselves we are able to rest from the stresses and strains of everyday life. We give ourselves the mental space to process our thoughts and then re engage with others in a more relaxed way afterwards. Being alone doesn’t always mean we experience a feeling of loneliness.
However, during the pandemic many of us are spending more and more time alone. Consequently the number of people experiencing loneliness has risen dramatically. And it’s totally understandable.
missing the every day things
Many of us are now working from home and missing face to face time with colleagues. Natural moments in the day we take for granted aren’t currently happening: times such as “water cooler chats”, having lunch breaks and laughs with work friends and catch up chats at the beginning and end of meetings.
As more of us need to self-isolate pressure is placed on increasingly anxious homes. Parents who are self-isolating, especially single parents, are finding it tough. There are no face to face opportunities to talk with adults during the day. Subsequently we can begin to feel cut off from others and miss adult conversation.
loneliness and mental wellbeing
A short period of loneliness can be managed. However there is a tipping point at which the amount of time we spend alone begins to become unhealthy. A prolonged period of loneliness can lead to lack of self worth and esteem, lack of energy and apathy in daily tasks. It creates a reliance on technology for all forms of communication and depression. So it’s important to be aware of how we are feeling and to reach out for support if necessary.
Once we realise we are feeling lonely and it’s becoming uncomfortable it’s important to take action before it affects our mental health.
Here are some ways to tackle loneliness:
- Get up, get fully dressed. Not just in lounge wear but dress as if you were heading outside for a purpose
- Find one thing to do each day which requires you to leave the house and feel more connected to the world outside
- Find someone to talk with, maybe reconnect with people you haven’t been in contact with for a while, make a phone or video call to someone every day
- Start a journal to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head to stop recurring negative thoughts
- Get distracted: immerse yourself in a box set, comedy series or good book
- Arrange a socially distanced walk or bike ride with a friend or family member outside your bubble
- Spend some time day dreaming about what life will be like next summer when the weather is better and we’ll be able to go to more places and meet people more easily
- Play your favourite uplifting music, and have an impromptu crazy dance whilst no one’s watching
- Shop locally so that you can meet and speak with people, even if it’s just the shop staff
- If you are finding your relationship intense or difficult book an initial session at Relate or find a couples counsellor to help you work out ways to communicate better in this difficult time
- If you are recovering from a breakup be gentle on yourself and give yourself permission to recover
- Spend quality time with a pet and/or children or hug a cuddly toy as a comfort
- Take up a new hobby, language or course which will give you a new focus and where you may meet like minded people
It can be challenging to engage with others when a part of us doesn’t feel like it. But remember we only need one person to talk with to reduce our loneliness. So start with a smile and a hello and see what happens……