In the final post on my series on the useful theories of psychoanalysis I end with some current thinking and practice which has evolved since attachment theory. In essence there has been a movement from classical psychoanalysis towards a more relational and...
Internet Dating – Part 1
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
Where Can I Find Single People?
So how do we meet like-minded single people? Well the obvious way is at work or through our circle of friends. But these may not offer a wealth of eligible singletons. The other ideal scenario is to find love doing something you love doing. So why not join that running club you’ve always been meaning to or pop along to your local Meetup group? If those don’t work then internet dating may be the answer.
There are, of course, pros and cons to internet dating. Pros being that one can get straight on to the dating business with someone you know also wants to date. Assuming that people are being honest in their profiles you can quickly establish a little about the person, their current circumstances and what they are looking for.
Is Internet Dating Safe?
However a possible downside is that anyone can set up a profile and start dating. Even the most expensive of online dating sites do not check the id of their members so it’s recommended you take a little time to find out if a person really is who they say they are. If you do meet someone you want to date exclusively then it is far better to have the “exclusivity chat” (see part 3 in this series) before either of you stop dating other people.
Which Online Dating Site Should I Use?
There are many internet dating websites to choose from. Websites like Plenty of Fish and apps like Tinder are free to join and use. This means that there are a lot of people on the site and a large variety of people seeking various things. Having said that it is possible to search on Plenty of Fish under what kind of liaison or relationship you are interested in. I know several people who have met their lifelong partners through this site.
Are There More Selective Websites?
At the other end of the spectrum are websites like www.elitesingles.co.uk which is at the higher end of the fee scale and takes a serious amount of time and effort to join. This should weed out people not interested in serious dating.
How Much Will internet dating Cost?
All internet dating sites have offers on most of the time and once you have decided which one to go for it is also worth calling them to ask what is their current best deal.
Are There Any Other Ways To Meet People?
There are of course some old school introduction agencies eg www.carolinecrowther.com which may be another avenue to research and of course speed dating, which I’m reliably informed is a fun night out if nothing else!
Find out how to write your dating profile in my next post.
Read my previous blog: Neuroscience and Trauma in Childhood
Read my next blog: Internet Dating – Part 2