In the final post on my series on the useful theories of psychoanalysis I end with some current thinking and practice which has evolved since attachment theory. In essence there has been a movement from classical psychoanalysis towards a more relational and...
take a break
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
TAKE A BREAK
Holidays
With half term already here thoughts of holidays and breaks are all around. Holidays are important, whether it’s a staycation or a Sri Lankan safari. But even on holiday it can be hard to really stop.
How Does a Break Help?
A break is time to step away from the normal. Time to pause. To clear our heads from the busy every day. To reflect. Maybe to think and plan.
Regulating Emotions
A beak can help us regulate our emotions.
When we react to something strongly, like being stressed or scared we can pause to engage our rational side. If we allow a few breaths to calm down, we will feel more objective about the situation. We think more rationally about what’s just happened and are in a better place to decide what we need to do next.
Conflict Resolution
A pause is helpful in relationships and conflict too.
If we are mid disagreement, or argument then a break helps us calm down. Taking the initiative and suggesting a time-out means we move away from each other and cool off before we continue. This break gives us the opportunity to reflect and figure out a healthier way to continue the disagreement.
Pauses in Therapy
Pauses are vital in therapy. They are the space between. Between thoughts. Between feelings. Between ideas.
Pauses allow for many things. Time to process what we have just been exploring. A sort of percolating in the psyche happens when there is a pause. We have time to reflect on what has just been said and tune in to how we might be feeling about it.
I work weekly and twice weekly with my clients. This is the perfect time in between sessions. It’s enough to keep the connection between us and the content we are exploring but it also allows time in between sessions for the conscious (and the unconscious) to do its work. Memories we have forgotten come back to us. Dreams come to us. Ideas we have explored during the session have time to ponder in our minds. This gives us useful material to bring to the next session.
How To Pause
Do you take breaks? When was the last time you stopped to think something through? What happened? Did it help?
Can you pause right now? Tune in to your body and check in.
Is everything ok?
Is there a niggle somewhere which means something isn’t right?
Do you need to do something or speak to someone?
Is there any anxiety? What is it about? Do you know what you need to do about it?
How could you build a pause into your day?
Here are some ideas to try:
- Take a few breaths first thing in the morning to think about your day ahead or last thing at night to reflect on the day.
- Use your commute, run or bike ride. Instead of listening to music or a podcast take some time to monitor how you are.
- Eat mindfully, taking time to chew and swallow your food. Reflect on the taste but also how you are feeling generally.
- In the shower, enjoy the water on your skin but also take some moments to tune in to your emotions.
Try it out today, or this week. And see if it makes a difference…