John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
March is a hopeful month. Officially the first month of spring with emerging colour, bulbs bravely shooting through the ground and trees starting to sprout buds.
A couple of years ago in the UK we had a mini heatwave in March. With the unpredictability of the climate, we never know if we are due a heatwave or snowstorm. March days are never boring!
March is a transitional month, winter to summer. The clocks spring forward, and we can look forward to longer days. With the air and ground warming up it can feel easier to spend more time outdoors…exercising, gardening, swimming…whatever we enjoy that makes us smile and gives us a daily burst of vitamin D.
It’s International Women’s Day on 8th March. The goddess of March is Athena in Greek and Minerva in Roman. As a feminist I look to Minerva, the wisest of the Roman deities, the goddess of wisdom, peace, justice, and the arts. Indeed, the name Minerva is a combination of the mind and intellect.
So, to pay tribute to Minerva and March, this month’s blog post is about reflecting on where we are in our lives. I sometimes do so with my patients as it can be good to reflect part way through the work.
We will be a quarter of the way through 2024 at the end of March so it’s a good time to take stock of how the year is going so far. You can choose to look at all areas of your life or just one.
Here are some ideas of areas we can focus on and some questions we can ask ourselves:
Work
How is work going? What am I getting out of it and other than paying the bills (which is perfectly fine if that’s your aim)? What am I contributing to the workplace? Is there anything else I want to accomplish this year at work? And if so, what do I need to do to make it happen?
Relationships
How am I feeling about my relationship? Am I getting enough quality time with my partner? Are we communicating well enough? Do I listen, truly listen to them without distraction? Do they do the same to me? Are we able to talk through things together? Do I feel supported by my partner when life gets tricky? Am I able to do the same for them?
If you’re single, are you ok with that? Brilliant if you are. How is your support network? Do you have enough friends and family to lean on when challenges come?
If you’re not ok being single, what can you do to change this year? Do you need to get out more? Start a new hobby or sport or course for work or play?
Family
If you have children, do you spend enough quality time with them individually and together? Having fun and also talking with them. Really listening to how they are and what’s going on for them ~ without any interruptions.
Do you spend enough time with your extended family? If your parents are ageing, do you wish to spend more time with them? Time goes so quickly, and you don’t want to regret missed opportunities and experiences with them.
Downtime
Have you planned holidays for the year? Everyone needs time out from the usual routine. If you are planning on going away, now is the time to book if you haven’t already. If you are staycationing make sure you diarise it, so it doesn’t get pushed aside.
Is there anything else you want to do this year that you haven’t started yet? Now’s a good time to start. You still have 9 months left of 2024; and then the rest of your life to practice it if you love it.
I’m sure you can think of other areas to reflect on too.
In the spirit of Minerva, I wish you the wisdom to determine what you want for the rest of the year and indeed your life, and the energy and determination to make it happen.