How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
How To Survive Christmas 2021
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Interpreting Dreams
In the last of my series on dreaming we look at common images and symbols in dream interpretation. I love working with the unconscious and find dreams fascinating. We can think of them as metaphors for what might be going on in the dreamer’s life and/or the...
Nightmares and Night terrors
It seems difficult for people to talk about their nightmares. Even if the person has told me during their assessment that they suffer from nightmares, I often find people don’t talk about them in any detail until we have been working together for a while. Maybe by...
Types of dreams
Types of Dreams Every dream is as unique as the dreamer, but there are specific types of dreamsthat most commonly find their way into my consulting room. These are daydreams, vivid dreams, recurring dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares and night terrors. This month, I...
Dream Journaling
How To Remember Your Dreams I often work with people who dream frequently and are interested in their dreams. Many suffer from nightmares and night terrors which they remember vividly. I will be exploring these in a later post. But a lot of people don’t remember...
Christmas can be challenging for many people but this year especially it will be difficult for most of us one way or another. We may have to make do with phone and video calls to stay in touch with people who we would normally be with. We may be posting presents rather than giving them in person this year. Christmas parties and celebrations might be altered or abandoned last minute as guidelines and advice shifts daily. It’s a confusing and unsettling time and will be lonely and sad for many including those who are isolating, in an unhappy relationship, are bereaved, or depressed. These feelings have been prevalent since March 2020 in the UK but they can be exacerbated at celebration times.
Things We Can Do To Survive Christmas
We can start by allowing ourselves time to work out how we feel. This is always the first step to change. This may take some time, especially for those of us who find getting in touch with our feelings difficult, but once we are aware of how we feel we can do something about it.
1. Communicate.
If plans need to change or difficult choices need to be made about who to spend time with it’s best to let people know as soon as possible. Talk things over and decide what you can manage to do, how you can do it, and where you can do it.
2. Prioritise Your Relationship.
If you are in a relationship give yourself time together away from the hectic run-up to Christmas. Boycott all Christmas talk and catch up with how you both are. Get a takeaway or vat of popcorn and snuggle under the blanket on the sofa in front of a movie.
3. Pamper Yourself.
Take some well-deserved time out for yourself. We need to be ok with ourselves before we are able to give to others. Give yourself a chance to recharge your batteries. Find an online yoga class, meditate, or just unwind in a hot bath with plenty of bubbles, candles, and a glass of mulled wine.
4. Get Enough Sleep.
Neuroscience proves that sleep is the body’s way of repairing itself. Whilst asleep our brain restructures its connections making sense of the previous day’s information and storing it to memory. Go to bed at your usual time as often as possible. You will need all the rest you can get so that you can get everything done and still have energy left to enjoy yourself.
5. Give Something Back.
Research shows that depression can be relieved by giving something back. Whilst this is more challenging in the pandemic it’s still possible to check on an elderly neighbor, give more to charity or encourage children to choose a current toy they could give away to a charity shop to make some room for this year’s presents.
6. Old Fashioned Fun.
Take the opportunity to switch off the technology for a few hours. Spend some quality time together, play board games, cards, go for a walk.
7. Try Something Different.
As this year is going to be challenging again why not break the usual routines? Get rid of the need for washing up and book your Christmas dinner out or ring the changes and order a spicy Thai takeaway.
8. Reflect And Resolve.
Reflect on 2021. What has gone well and not so well for you? Think about what you might do differently in 2022. What steps can you take to improve your health, lifestyle, and happiness?
The objective is to feel ok with who we are and what we do over the festive period. Our time off is precious and we need to be true to ourselves this holiday, striking the right balance between celebrating and also making time to unwind and recharge at this difficult time.