In the final post on my series on the useful theories of psychoanalysis I end with some current thinking and practice which has evolved since attachment theory. In essence there has been a movement from classical psychoanalysis towards a more relational and...
Christmas in the Time of Covid
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The festive season can be challenging for many people. However this year especially, it will be difficult for most of us one way or another. We will have to make do with phone and video calls to stay in touch with people who we would normally be with. We will be posting presents rather than giving them in person this year. Christmas parties are cancelled and celebration plans altered or abandoned altogether as guidelines and advice shifts daily. Evidently it’s a confusing and unsettling time and will be lonely and sad for many including those who are isolating, in an unhappy relationship, are bereaved or depressed. Furthermore these feelings have been prevalent since March in the UK but they can be exacerbated at celebration times.
Things We Can Do
Firstly, we can start by allowing ourselves time to work out how we feel. This is always the first step to change. However this may take some time, especially for those of us who find getting in touch with our feelings difficult, but once we are aware of how we feel we can do something about it.
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Communicate.
If plans need to change or difficult choices need to be made about who to spend time with it’s best to let people know as soon as possible. Talk things over and decide what you can manage to do, how you can do it and where you can do it.
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Prioritise Your Relationship.
If you are in a relationship give yourself time together away from the hectic run up to Christmas. Boycott all Christmas talk and catch up with how you both are. Buy a take away meal or vat of popcorn and snuggle under the blanket on the sofa in front of a movie.
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Pamper Yourself.
Take some well deserved time out for you. We need to be ok with ourselves before we are able to give to others. Give yourself a chance to recharge your batteries. Find an online yoga class, meditate, or just unwind in a hot bath with plenty of bubbles, candles and a glass of mulled wine.
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Get Enough Sleep.
Neuroscience proves that sleep is the body’s way of repairing itself. Whilst asleep our brain restructures its connections making sense of the previous day’s information and storing it to memory. Go to bed at your usual time as often as possible. You will need all the rest you can get so that you can get everything done and still have energy left to enjoy yourself.
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Give Something Back.
Research shows that depression can be relieved by giving something back. Whilst this is more challenging in the pandemic it’s possible to check on an elderly neighbour, give more to charity or encourage children to choose a current toy they could give away to a charity shop. Then it also makes some room for this year’s presents!
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Old Fashioned Fun.
Take the opportunity to switch off the technology for a few hours. Spend some quality time together, play board games, cards, go for a walk.
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Try Something Different.
As this year is going to be different in so many ways why not break the usual routines? Get rid of the need for washing up and book your Christmas dinner out or ring the changes and order a spicy Thai take away.
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Reflect And Resolve.
Reflect on 2020. What has gone well and not so well for you? Think about what you might do differently in 2021. What steps can you take to improve your health, lifestyle and happiness?
The objective is to feel ok with who we are and what we do over the festive period. Our time off is precious and we need to be true to ourselves this holiday. Importantly striking the right balance between celebrating and also making time to unwind and recharge after this difficult year.