John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
The Art of Self Soothing
There is so much going on in the world now. It’s hard watching the news, in fact I am more likely to just quickly check a news ap than I am to watch the news in real time. Many people I speak to are unable to watch the news at all because they struggle to think of the...
Resilience: a metaphor from my experiences.
Whilst on holiday in Greece I was struck by the importance of the Olive Tree. Primarily by its beauty. The ancient dark gnarly trunk in contrast with the silvery sage and bright green leaves almost translucent in the sun. But also by its centrality to Greek culture and economy.
Whilst wandering through an olive grove I noticed how olive trees also provide an ecosystem for neighbouring flora and fauna. Rabbits hopped merrily, yellow butterflies and bees rested on the cowparsley below, while swallows darted above the canopy.
Comparison to home
I was reminded of the similarity of the holm oak, another Mediterranean tree, which is very happy at my home in Bournemouth. My thoughts moved to the holm oak in my garden and the view my patients have of it from my consulting room. How its branches wave around on windy days. Yet it stays firm with its strong roots and trunk pinning it to the spot.
Resilience in life
My holm oak tree is a metaphor for resilience in life. The trunks and roots give it a strong base, representing many things. Such as in a healthy childhood this base is provided by our parents and the early start we had in life. If our childhood was challenging we may have been lucky to have been given other roots at that time or later on in life. Such as a supportive extended family, friends, partner or therapist. This strong base gives us strength and a belief in ourself which allows us to develop and mature knowing that we are ok.
This strong base supports the branches. So to extend the holm oak metaphor further, when the branches wave around on windy days and challenges appear. For example: loss of a loved one, unemployment, or loss then the branches are held in place by the trunk and root system. So we rely on our stable base to keep us secure at our core. We feel we can adapt to what happens to us without it overwhelming us. Our stable base allows us to be resilient and we know that we will survive what is happening to us.
Our aim is to live as the olive tree with flexible branches that can bend but remain in place with a solid core sense of self.