In the final post on my series on the useful theories of psychoanalysis I end with some current thinking and practice which has evolved since attachment theory. In essence there has been a movement from classical psychoanalysis towards a more relational and...
Our Identity
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
In these digital times, we can create our own online identities. This may be different to our identity in person.
We become the perfect tweeter, entrepreneur, online date or blogger. The internet is the perfect platform to try out our perfect online persona.
I’m sure we all know a friend who went on a first date with someone they met online only to find their picture and/or profile was a flattering version of the person they met. There’s even a new term for it: “kittenfishing”. Or also called “catfishing“.
The virtual reality of the internet offers a perceived distance and anonymity. This can be useful eg I am able to blog without giving away too much personal detail.
There is something that feels “safe” about online personas. We can be who we want to be. This illusion of security may be down to feeling anonymous or being free to choose who we want to be.
The online screen acts as a barrier. We are able to keep in contact with people on our terms.
We have less face to face interactions but still feel connected. For example, we are aware of what’s going on with friends and family by social media eg via Facebook. But is this a genuine representation of what’s really going on? Are the fabulously loved- up holiday pictures the true story of our relationship? Or the image we wish to share with the outside world?
Digital contact keeps us connected, but at what level? There is a tendency in today’s manic world to text more and talk less. To have short catch-up interactions instead of quality time together.
Working with clients, I have often found, to begin with, they may find it strange to talk about themselves. To have the focus entirely on them for 50 minutes. In our world of super speedy interactions, it takes a while to become comfortable with sitting still for 50 minutes and concentrating on oneself. Revealing our identity takes time, and trust.
However, the uncomfortableness does wear off, and the person usually comes to relish having two people think about their issues: exploring who they are, the personas they unconsciously put on in different situations with different people, the real and the not so real self…
Over time we gradually uncover who our authentic self is,
(that we are not so bad after-all) and discover the life we genuinely want.