In the final post on my series on the useful theories of psychoanalysis I end with some current thinking and practice which has evolved since attachment theory. In essence there has been a movement from classical psychoanalysis towards a more relational and...
Transition
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory Attachment Theory is a well-known and widely accepted concept in human development and psychotherapy. British psychiatrist John Bowlby developed it in the 1950s. The crux of attachment theory is that the early emotional bonds between...
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott
The Helpful Ideas of Donald Winnicott Continuing my series on the founders of psychoanalysis I'm exploring Donald Winnicott this month. Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) was a paediatrician who then trained as a psychoanalyst, first to adults and later to...
The Importance of Melanie Klein
The Importance of Melanie Klein Melanie Klein was a groundbreaking and highly creative psychoanalyst. She was born in 1882 in Vienna but spent most of her life in UK, dying in London in 1960. Her life was fascinating, with many losses and tragedies but...
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today?
Carl Jung – Is He Relevant Today? Carl Gustav Jung was born into a religious family in Switzerland and studied to be a doctor. During these studies he became fascinated with current philosophy, anthropology and psychological theories and work in...
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today
How Freud Is Still Relevant Today Prompted by last month’s blog on Narcissism, this is the first in a series on some of the founding members in psychoanalysis and some of their ideas, many of which, I believe, are still useful for us today. Widely...
Narcissism
Narcissism The term 'narcissism' is banded around a lot. But what does being a narcissist actually mean? And how do we work out if we are in a relationship with one, or even if we might be one ourselves? Origins of Narcissism The term narcissism comes from...
The Art of Self-soothing 4: Using Our Senses
Using Our Senses This final post in my series is about using our bodily senses to self-soothe. There are lots of ways that we can self-sooth by looking. Sight Natural Vistas As I’ve already mentioned in a previous post, nature and landscapes are very calming. For...
The Art of Self-soothing 3: Creativity
Creativity is a sure way to self-soothe. People have lost themselves in creative pursuits since time began. Getting in touch with our creativity is a way of reaching something within ourselves. By allowing this to develop we can usually make something bigger than...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health. Take a Short Walk The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your...
Any transition is the beginning of a process of change. It involves the ending of one phase and the beginning of another.
We all have times in our lives when circumstances change:
- redundancy
- break up of a relationship
- new job
- career change
- parenthood
- new relationship
- leaving home or moving home
- starting university
Either we choose the transition or it happens to us out of our control.
WE MIGHT BENEFIT FROM ASKING OURSELVES
Where do we want to be in 5, 10, 30 years’ time?
Where would we like to be living?
What kind of lifestyle do we want?
What work would we like to be doing?
There are lots of books on this subject, I recommend What Colour Is Your Parachute 2015 which works through your values and interests and helps you to think of different options for your career and work, as well as giving practical guidance such as tips on how to update your CV.
Transition: a Process of change
This transition from an ending to a beginning can be experienced in a myriad of ways.
However, every ending brings loss with it.
For a difficult ending to become more healthy it is worth spending time grieving the loss of it. As hard as it is this includes accepting that this part of our life (or person) has gone forever. At the same time as we experience the loss, we may also experience feelings of uncertainty which can be very unsettling.
If we have no idea of our next phase then life can be a lot more tricky. But if we know what is happening next we can make plans and start to prepare ourselves for it.
It is not always easy to keep calm and positive. Somehow we need to keep the faith that things will shift at some point and our way will become more clear to us. This can be the hardest part of a transition.
Also if we are brave enough we can try to learn from this loss e.g. at the end of a relationship it is worth looking at our part in what didn’t work in the relationship. This will help us become more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours so that we can take this new awareness into our next relationship and relate more easily with our new partner.
Once we have genuinely experienced the ending we are able to embrace the new beginning and realise that there is a new, albeit different way forward.
TIME AND GOOD HEALTH REALLY ARE THE BIGGEST GIFTS WE HAVE.
Life is too short to be stuck doing something unfulfilling if we don’t need to be doing it.
Take some time for yourself and work out what really matters, now and in the future. After all, as Robin Williams’ character, Mr Keating, said in Dead Poets Society: “We are food for worms, lads!”