It seems difficult for people to talk about their nightmares. Even if the person has told me during their assessment that they suffer from nightmares, I often find people don’t talk about them in any detail until we have been working together for a while. Maybe by...
John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
Types of dreams
Types of Dreams Every dream is as unique as the dreamer, but there are specific types of dreamsthat most commonly find their way into my consulting room. These are daydreams, vivid dreams, recurring dreams, lucid dreams, nightmares and night terrors. This month, I...
Dream Journaling
How To Remember Your Dreams I often work with people who dream frequently and are interested in their dreams. Many suffer from nightmares and night terrors which they remember vividly. I will be exploring these in a later post. But a lot of people don’t remember...
Dreaming
Photography by Gregory Pappas on UnsplashPsychotherapy and Dreams During an initial consultation with a potential client, I often ask about their dreams. Do they dream regularly? Do they have significant dreams from childhood? Do they have recurring dreams? This is...
Time for a Mindset Spring Clean
March is a hopeful month. Officially the first month of spring with emerging colour, bulbs bravely shooting through the ground and trees starting to sprout buds. A couple of years ago in the UK we had a mini heatwave in March. With the unpredictability of the climate,...
Cyber Bullying
Cyber Bullying When researching this subject, I was shocked to see the number of people who had taken their lives due to cyber bullying and sextortion. Between March 2019 and March 2020 19% or one in five children between the age of 10 and 15 in England and Wales...
Male Influencers
The MeToo movement has been wonderful for women’s rights and furthering awareness of sexual harassment and abuse. I know very few women who haven’t experienced sexual harassment at some point in their life and there is now an ability for women to have a voice, be...
What’s Your Online Persona?
Who Do You Think You Are? How Do You Want To Come Across Online? We all know someone who exaggerates their life online – we see the ‘official’ glitzy positive image they put on social media. For example, posts of holiday snaps look amazing but, when we meet to hear...
Striking the Balance – Parenting Children on Social Media
Children and social media: It can be a thorny issue for many parents. There is a common conflict. On the one hand, if you let your child engage in social media they can feel part of their friendship group and won’t feel left out or left behind, whilst on the other...
Phone Addiction – Are We Losing the Art of Being Able to be With Ourselves?
At a comedy show recently I sat in my seat during the interval and studied the art deco theatre. I was admiring the intricate ceiling and the décor and looked across from where I was sitting to see three people engrossed in their phones. They seemed oblivious to the...
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health.
Take a Short Walk
The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your front door. If you are lucky to live in a rural area you have plenty of nature to immerse yourself in. But even a wander through an urban area can have a soothing effect if we stop to look at any plants or trees or listen to birdsong as we pass. If there is nothing natural to discover then it can be soothing to look up and watch cloud formations and the movement of them across the sky.
It’s the stopping that counts. The soothing comes in the stopping. I stopped to watch a robin pecking at the soil under a bay tree in my garden last weekend. He was quite tame and wasn’t scared by me sitting down nearby with my coffee to watch him. My day was busy and full but those minutes watching the robin helped me catch breath and renewed my energy for the rest of the day ahead.
Gardening
Gardening can be a therapy in itself. Historically, residential homes for people with mental health problems had gardens for patients to work and relax in and increasingly hospitals and hospices are understanding the importance of outside spaces for patients and staff alike.
The practice of nurturing plants can be very fulfilling. The process of tending soil, planting seeds or plants and being their guardians until they bloom or produce a crop is rewarding as well as soothing.
Gardening gives us a good excuse to roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty. We can find joy in the messiness and dirtiness, maybe taking us back to mud pies and sandcastles of childhood. Using our bare hands to touch the soil and plants is a tangible experience and one which takes us out of our busy heads and minds into our bodies -literally grounding us.
Star Gazing
Taking time out to look up at the sky at night can be very calming. I was surprised to see an observatory at some roman ruins I visited recently. Humankind has always been fascinated by the night sky and pausing to look at stars. The stars and moon are a changing vista and taking time to look at them can be very relaxing. Appreciating how small planet earth is within this galaxy/universe and therefore how small our part is in the world in the grand scheme of things can help put our anxieties into perspective. Will what we are currently worrying about matter in 5 or 10 years’ time?
The Calm of Water
Many people say that looking at a body of water makes them feel calm. Watching sailing boats pass by or being on the water in a boat can be soothing.
A beach scene can be relaxing to look at and watching and listening to waves can be mesmerising.
Many meditations have the sound of rainfall as their background to soothe. I have 2 velux windows in my consulting room and clients mention how they enjoy the sound of the rain on the windows.
Pondering the Seasons
If you are lucky enough to live in a country where there are different seasons during the year, you may appreciate the changing of the seasons. Each season brings with it its own merits and minuses but it is the constancy of the ever changing seasons which can feel comforting.
We need to head outside to truly appreciate which season we are in but as we play in: snow, leaves, rain or sunshine we become part of something larger. We understand that the seasons come and go, one rolls out as the next one rolls in. It’s this regularity which we expect. The change of the seasons provides a familiarity and comfort for us when other aspects of our lives may feel out of control. The ever-changing seasons are part of the rhythm of life and something we can rely on. A calming constancy in the inconstancy of life. I hope these thoughts have given you some ideas for ways to soothe yourself amongst nature. Next month I will be exploring creativity as a way to self soothe.