The MeToo movement has been wonderful for women’s rights and furthering awareness of sexual harassment and abuse. I know very few women who haven’t experienced sexual harassment at some point in their life and there is now an ability for women to have a voice, be...
The Art of Self-Soothing 2: Nature
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Striking the Balance – Parenting Children on Social Media
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At a comedy show recently I sat in my seat during the interval and studied the art deco theatre. I was admiring the intricate ceiling and the décor and looked across from where I was sitting to see three people engrossed in their phones. They seemed oblivious to the...
Social Media Anxiety and How To Manage It
Social media can be a fantastic way of keeping in touch with people and a source of inspiration, support, and connection to wider conversations online. It can also link us to people we would otherwise not have access to, for example, brides and grooms who’ve invited...
Social Media Anxiety
This is the first in a series I’m writing about social media. Over recent years, and especially since the pandemic social media has become more prevalent in our lives. Benefits of Social Media There are fantastic sides to social media like the ability to keep in touch...
Your First Therapy Session
This is the time of year when it’s common for people to think about starting therapy. You may have decided that you want to approach a therapist and may have contacted someone and made a date for an initial consultation. But then the reality of having the first...
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Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year can be difficult times for many people. We spend the holiday with family in a more intense way than normal and this can reveal strains, tensions and ruptures that we normally overlook or don’t like to admit in our daily lives....
2022 Another New Year Another New Normal
2022 looks set to be another unique year. Here in the UK, covidwise, we start the year arguably in a better place than 2021. As Omicron continues, it’s becoming the new normal to take a lateral flow test before meeting family and friends. But many of us are still...
How To Survive Christmas 2021
Christmas can be challenging for many people but this year especially it will be difficult for most of us one way or another. We may have to make do with phone and video calls to stay in touch with people who we would normally be with. We may be posting presents...
This month’s way to self soothe is by being in nature. It’s long been known and proven that being outside and preferably in nature can improve our mental health.
Take a Short Walk
The simplest ways are often the most effective. Such as going for a short walk from your front door. If you are lucky to live in a rural area you have plenty of nature to immerse yourself in. But even a wander through an urban area can have a soothing effect if we stop to look at any plants or trees or listen to birdsong as we pass. If there is nothing natural to discover then it can be soothing to look up and watch cloud formations and the movement of them across the sky.
It’s the stopping that counts. The soothing comes in the stopping. I stopped to watch a robin pecking at the soil under a bay tree in my garden last weekend. He was quite tame and wasn’t scared by me sitting down nearby with my coffee to watch him. My day was busy and full but those minutes watching the robin helped me catch breath and renewed my energy for the rest of the day ahead.
Gardening
Gardening can be a therapy in itself. Historically, residential homes for people with mental health problems had gardens for patients to work and relax in and increasingly hospitals and hospices are understanding the importance of outside spaces for patients and staff alike.
The practice of nurturing plants can be very fulfilling. The process of tending soil, planting seeds or plants and being their guardians until they bloom or produce a crop is rewarding as well as soothing.
Gardening gives us a good excuse to roll up our sleeves and get our hands dirty. We can find joy in the messiness and dirtiness, maybe taking us back to mud pies and sandcastles of childhood. Using our bare hands to touch the soil and plants is a tangible experience and one which takes us out of our busy heads and minds into our bodies -literally grounding us.
Star Gazing
Taking time out to look up at the sky at night can be very calming. I was surprised to see an observatory at some roman ruins I visited recently. Humankind has always been fascinated by the night sky and pausing to look at stars. The stars and moon are a changing vista and taking time to look at them can be very relaxing. Appreciating how small planet earth is within this galaxy/universe and therefore how small our part is in the world in the grand scheme of things can help put our anxieties into perspective. Will what we are currently worrying about matter in 5 or 10 years’ time?
The Calm of Water
Many people say that looking at a body of water makes them feel calm. Watching sailing boats pass by or being on the water in a boat can be soothing.
A beach scene can be relaxing to look at and watching and listening to waves can be mesmerising.
Many meditations have the sound of rainfall as their background to soothe. I have 2 velux windows in my consulting room and clients mention how they enjoy the sound of the rain on the windows.
Pondering the Seasons
If you are lucky enough to live in a country where there are different seasons during the year, you may appreciate the changing of the seasons. Each season brings with it its own merits and minuses but it is the constancy of the ever changing seasons which can feel comforting.
We need to head outside to truly appreciate which season we are in but as we play in: snow, leaves, rain or sunshine we become part of something larger. We understand that the seasons come and go, one rolls out as the next one rolls in. It’s this regularity which we expect. The change of the seasons provides a familiarity and comfort for us when other aspects of our lives may feel out of control. The ever-changing seasons are part of the rhythm of life and something we can rely on. A calming constancy in the inconstancy of life. I hope these thoughts have given you some ideas for ways to soothe yourself amongst nature. Next month I will be exploring creativity as a way to self soothe.