Highs and Lows of Online Dating


Online dating has become the most popular way of finding love in the digital age. Most of us lead busy lives juggling: work, social life and family. We may come to a stage in life when most of our friends are in relationships with or without children. Meeting up involves going round each others houses or going out to eat and drink and catch up. Time is spent with each other and there is no necessity to involve or talk to anyone else. This makes opportunities for meeting new people difficult.


Matchmaking for friends is very rare so an online matchmaking service or dating app. sounds ideal.


But online dating is not easy. Whilst it offers an array of single people ready to meet, there can be challenges along the internet dating path:


It can be difficult to sell yourself. Those of us who are naturally modest or shy may find it a challenge. The very idea of putting ourselves out there so publicly can cause anxiety before we have started. From finding an appropriate picture to writing the blurb about ourselves…the whole process can be a scary proposition. How much information do we feel comfortable giving and how on earth do we sum up ourself succinctly?


Once you have navigated your way through the profiles and communication channels there is the challenge of meeting someone: the anxiety of the first meeting, managing the feelings of excitement and disappointment or further excitement.


People date online for many reasons and it’s good to find out if you are both on the same page with what you want. If you wish to continue dating one person remember that the online dating culture is one of meeting more than one person at the same time and until both of you have had the exclusivity chat there is no expectation that you are dating exclusively.


Some people have a fantasy about finding the perfect partner from online dating. Unfortunately, there is no such thing! It takes time to get to know someone and find out if you are both compatible.


Online dating is not for the fainthearted: there is bound to be disappointment involved. The disappointment can happen very soon, for example, when you meet your date for the first time and they look nothing like their photo. Or it can happen after a few dates when you discover that you find them attractive but you have totally different values and want different things out of life.


Maybe you will meet your life partner which is fantastic. Like any relationship, when the honeymoon period is over we realise that no one is perfect and the early fantasy we may have had about our new partner needs to wane in order to let the reality of the new relationship grow.


Online dating and relationships in general take grit: effort and energy. Finding the right person takes patience and effort and staying with them involves commitment – but the results can be fulfilling and lifechanging.




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